Sometimes I have a hard time focusing on the "smaller picture." When this happens...I usually get stuck thinking about the larger, future picture. I think I need to stop and really pay attention to the now and not worry so much about the "what if's". Is there a way to shut off one's brain to accomplish this?
Sometimes I have a hard time not wanting to verbally lash out when I feel there is something wrong. There's really only been one situation (almost 8 years running) where I have had to keep quiet for the risk of having children directly affected. This urge however is getting harder and harder to subdue. I got really upset today when I found out the reason we could not "get" said children on our scheduled day (Friday) was not for the reason we were told it was for. A NYSMA competition was a culprit of a possible late arrival however a "much needed" soccer scrimmage was the reasoning as to why we couldn't get these children until noon today (Saturday). Now...because said kids' step-father will be in the "area" tomorrow (Sunday), they have to leave at 3pm. So...we get them for exactly 27 hours. Really? Hmmm...I sense a blow up coming like a volcano's lava getting ready to spew! I still don't think this woman 1.) is prepared to deal with me and 2.) has ever dealt with someone like me.
Sometimes I have a hard time controlling my emotions. The simplest things can set me off, into a crying fit. There are even times when it's something that doesn't even associate with what I am crying about. For example, sometimes a song relevant to an issue in my life will be an obvious tear jerker...othertimes...something like a dance song will send me into a fit of facial water works. I know Ke$ha can't sing for crap but I shouldn't cry when I hear her music...unless...thats why I'm crying...it hurts my brain...
Ok..my random-ness is coming to a close...Thanks for partaking in my crazy-ness.
No comments:
Post a Comment