So this is going to be the most awkward Mother's Day for me, to date. I'm almost stuck with thoughts of what I should do. Mom and I had a falling out this past January and haven't really spoken since. My Birthday was basically forgotten or at least not acknowledged by her. This is partially the reason why I feel like I am in the purgatory of thought about this "holiday".
I know I am 29 years old and that I should be the responsible adult, moving on from the issues I've faced. However, the ever lingering feeling of abandonment is like an incurable disease. I just can't seem to shake it. I also know that discussing how I feel with my Mom should be whats done. I just can't seem to make myself face her. It's not out of guilt, I definitely know that is not what I am feeling. Although, I do think is tied closely to the feeling of despair. I don't know how to approach the issue without fully losing it.
----> I think this is due to the fact I've gone through Hell with my Father and I don't know if I am prepared to do it all over again with my Mom. I know that whenever I see my Father I see red and it's almost uncontrollable to not lunge at him and make him feel the pain I feel due to his actions.
So, now I am left with the questions of: Do I or Don't I? Do I acknowledge my Mom on the holiday representing all that Mom's do for us children. Or....Do I not acknowledge her due to the fact she has not acknowledged my presence for almost six months? Is it the mature thing to walk away and never look back until she realizes what happened? Or....do I confront the situation, possibly making it 1000x's worse.
Maybe send a card (maybe it's a little late for that?) letting her know that you're thinking about her, that you miss having a relationship with her, and that you're ready and open to work on it as soon as she's ready. She hurt you by letting a day that was important to you go by unacknowledged, don't do the same to her.
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