Played By A Puppet Master

Being there for a friend is one of the most genuine forms of flattery a person can show. And when that friend is in extreme need coming to their aide is the job of a friend. What happens when it all goes wrong? I'll tell you.

My sisters best friend (We'll call her Beatrice) has been like a sister to us since they started their friendship. I was the older (wiser...lol) sister who was also the babysitter. I honestly loved this kid as if she was a part of my family...unfortunately, they started to drift apart after high school. Beatrice got herself a boyfriend and things quickly spiraled out of control (by her own admission). She ended up heading down the path of not only psychological destruction but emotional and physical as well. She thought she found the solution when she met her "husband" (we'll call him Satan). Satan went to jail (if I'm not mistake 2 or 3 times). They even got married there....much to her loving parents surprise.

Now...things started to go terribly wrong when Satan came home. Fights breaking out, drugs being done, drugs being sold, cars being driven without proper licenses etc. So, what do me and my sister do? We come to the rescue. I let Beatrice stay at my house for a little under a week so her father and my sister could attempt to get her out of the situation she had gotten herself in. Weeks later, I am leaving work 3 hours early because Beatrice decided that a bottle of pills would be a better solution than leaving on her own two feet. My sister and I even made plans to see her in the psych ward she got herself admitted to. Always there to lend that ever supportive hand to a LOVED ONE in need. Plans then were set in place to move Beatrice away from the apartment her and Satan shared. However, that didn't seem to stop Beatrice from going there...and even getting into one more heated situation where she damn near chopped her own hand off by punching a window. Again...my sister was there for her.

Now, when she leaves posts on facebook about wanting to change what had happened in the last few months and my sister leaves and encouraging response, my sister gets verbally attacked by Satan, calling her fat and saying she looks pregnant. Now, I know I am almost 30 years old but this set me off a bit...there is no reason to attack anyone that has helped your "WIFE" so graciously. So, I made sure that Captain Heroin knew I wasn't going to stand for that...

So this morning...I go to check on her facebook, not for his stupidness but to see if she was ok...low and behold I am not only deleted, but I am blocked...weird...hmm...ok...Come to find out, so is my sister...Beatrice's "best friend". However, we were able to find a way to see what had been posted...and Satan went off on a rant calling us fat, C----, etc. etc. etc...and Beatrice stood by him. I am completely and utterly appalled by this. And, I'd like to say that Beatrice is no longer welcome in my life, my home, my breathing space. I feel like after everything my sister and I have done for her we were just slapped in the face. And why did this happen? Because a low-life Heroin addict scum bag is playing Beatrice as if she were a marionette puppet. He has the strings and she does as she's directed.

Its so sad to see someone so young in such an abusive relationship that she can't even see, nor acknowledge the loving hands that once tried to help her on her feet...those hands are no longer there Beatrice...and if you fall...it's your own fault. You will realize this when there is no one left to catch you.

Ahhh Father's Day....

Well it is time once again for that commercial holiday known as "Father's Day." Every year for the last ten years this day is very difficult for me to get through. If one did not know me, one would think that maybe I lost my father. Well...in fact I did and I didn't. 

Ten years ago, my mom and I discovered that my father had lost our house after he defaulted not only on the mortgage but the taxes as well. We became homeless for almost a month then forced to live in a shack of a trailer. Meanwhile, he was partying it up with his sister (my Godmother oddly enough). It was like what happened had no effect on him what-so-ever. 

I made it out of that dark tunnel of 2003. I fell a couple of times but I made it, and I made it out with a college degree and the meeting of my husband. After I left my mom's and moved in with my now husband, I found out I had been disowned by my father's entire side of the family, simply because I stood up, never backed down, and never caved in for his lies. He has gone so far to tell people I don't exist.

 So "Father's Day" has come to hold an new meaning for me. I've decided that I will celebrate this holiday and rejoice in the fact I have three men in my life that will always be the best "father's" a girl could want. My husband, Todd has been my rock for almost 8 years. Even when he doesn't understand my "Daddy issues" he really does try to be supportive. Above all, he gives me the unconditional love, I have longed for my whole life. My Grandfather, Jack is everything I could ever ask for in a father figure. He has been there for not only me but my mom, my brother, and my sisters through everything. Always providing that shoulder to cry on and a helping hand. I couldn't have asked for a more suitable candidate to walk me down the aisle. Finally, there is my Father-in-Law, Ed. He has shown me what a father's love can do for a child. He's done so with grace and integrity, something I've never seen before. I know Todd plans on following in his steps, as he's already started. So, when Todd and I begin our family, I know my children will have what they need in a father. 

I may never forget nor do I think I have the ability to forgive for the pain this "father of mine" has inflicted on me all these years, but I know I can only keep trying to move forward and better myself. And, now, I know I have the unconditional, undeniable support from these three men...and hey, 3 is better than 1 isn't it?

An Agency Gone Wrong

The concept of working with troubled youth (or youth in general really) is one that is to ensure not only the safety of the children but to ensure growth and stability. It is not to reinforce bad behavior by giving in just so you don't have to deal with it. When it comes to education, you don't let things slide just because "they're broken children". You can not begin to help/fix these children until you make sure they have the education required in life. Even if that education is "history, math, science, and language arts" these will help create critical thinkers who will be able to make decisions based on knowledge not just raw emotion. I have believed this from the day I began working with youth and I will make sure when I have my own children that this is passed down to them.


Agencies that are dedicated to the troubled youth should hold these standards at pinnacle of their mission. If they are not, then the agency fails. If a child can not get the education they deserve, how are they going to be able to make logical choices in life? How can they make "educated" decisions? If they have a "disability" that's alright. As an agency you step up to the plate and show them how to bat so they can hit that home-run and  get what they can out of the game called life! You most certainly do not say "could you give them a break". I know for a fact there are children out there in NYS that are not "regents" material and with or without a "disability" they will struggle with these exams. But, this is why teaching is so important.

I know of a few teachers, whom I love dearly, that have tried their hardest to ensure that these ideals are met. Unfortunately, they are constantly side-lined with their efforts. Yet the person who is probably the worst excuse for a teacher I've ever seen is glorified by the (education) administration. Tell me how in the world this is healthy for the children they serve? It just doesn't make sense to me at all.

When this is part of your mission statement, as an agency it may want to be followed. It may be a good idea to hold your administration and decision makers to these values and principles. They are supposed to be beneficial to the children served! To not follow these is an absolute injustice to these children. Stop fooling the community and state into thinking you're "amazing" when you've failed so miserably!


VALUES & PRINCIPLES
Hope - We believe in the possibility for growth, change and forgiveness. We nurture that belief in ourselves and in others.
Healing - We promote a climate where people feel safe and experience improved physical, emotional and spiritual health.
Caring - We show compassion in how we treat others. We show sensitivity to their concerns, problems or pain. We reassure them that they are not alone.
Respect - We see the best in others regardless of who they are. Our words and actions recognize the special needs and individuality of each person we serve or with whom we work.
Integrity - We are honest in what we say and do. Honesty and competence are fundamental in developing trust.
Responsibility - We hold ourselves accountable for our decisions and actions. We believe every person has the capacity to make decisions and understand the consequences.
Collaboration - We use teamwork to accomplish more than any of us could by working alone. We believe we can best serve and care for others by blending the talents and dedication of many caring people and organizations.
Stewardship - We make wise use of the resources entrusted to us.